Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Important Meëting at Gentlemen's Association

Some of the times and dates when events are taking place are a little ridiculous, so because of this I thought I'd tell you all about my personal feelings and emotions regarding what I figure to be accurate accounts of frue events that will teach people how to live their lives better through studying ancient culture.

Making the journey to Speaker Mountain is very tough, and might take all night and day, so first I decided to stop by my local Strongbottom's Gentlemen's Association. There is always plenty of activity there, such as lifting of large triangular weights. I was about to go and see Strongbottom to get enlightenment about the journey, but I was distracted by the sauna room. I just couldn't resist the idea of a relaxing sauna with gentlemen. I discussed business, politics, beards, and manly affairs with Bruce, Mortimer, Matsam, Bruno, Lance, Julian, and Chuck. Afterwards, we all went out, drank each thirty-eight quarts of beer and ate eight pounds of salted pork. I had to sneak out early so I could eat my Shigekikkusu Jet Mega IQ Sour Gummi. I couldn't let the guys see me eating those as it's not all so manly of a thing to eat. I was feeling all pumped up, so I put on four belts, three about my waist and one on my arm, and went to see the Strongbottom of our Association. He spoke, "I know what you have been doing secretly! Shigekikkusu Jet Mega IQ Sour Gummi! For shame!" I thought, "But...! How...?!" And he knew my thoughts and explained, "Have you forgotten? The watchful muscular eye of Steve Reeves sees all! You have brought shame on yourself! Come back when you once again realize the true way of the Gentleman!" I was feeling pretty down at this point, so I headed back home and meditated about what I had gotten myself into. I had thought that the Gentlemans' Association would have made getting to Speaker Mountain a shoo-in, but there is something else important that I must first learn. I stared at my Belt-Pineapple Plushie and my mind once again wandered into space. What would the great Belt-Man do?

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