Friday, May 30, 2008

Egg Melt Sandwich

"Then imagine opening it and look inside."
Okay. ... left ... though.
"What's in the fridge?"
Greasy sausage gravy ... peppermint sugar syrup.
"Do you want to eat these things?"
... have heartburn ... nine or ten hundred years.
"Eww, that's disgusting."
... I'm closing ... heading right ....
"No way! I'm not taking you there!"
... I know you'll take me there eventually.

Gathering up the ingredients is an essential step for creating a food dish. Usually you’d do this with a shopping list planned out ahead of time with words written on it. I love it when I see words written for me. But I didn’t have one of these. I was gathering up interesting things. Eggs are easy, so I grabbed a few of those. You may not know this about me, but I am a master at cracking eggs. I can crack a hundred baker’s dozen eggs and not even know it. I put those on the counter and sort of wrapped a towel around them so they don’t crack themselves. I took out the cock sauce, since it always adds potential. I needed something tasty, so I headed into the bone cellar for some canned tuna. It’s pretty cold there. I once was carrying a bowl of soup there to eat, since I was sick, and it was spilling all over my hands, burning them. I saw some instant mashed potatoes so I grabbed those as well. Heading back to the kitchen, I realized I still need some odd and ends to put things together. Couldn’t find any bread, so I took out a bag of small tortillas, and the package of swiss cheese that was sitting next to it. Cheese is pretty great, especially when it’s melty. I tossed things into the frying pan for the first attempt, which didn’t turn out well since most parts were added as an afterthought.

[Beginning Cooking]
[Potatoes and First Sandwich]
[Sandwich with Additional]

It tasted good enough to make me want another, and bad enough to make me think I could do better. This time I added everything in during the cooking organization.

[Cooking Sandwich 2]
[Sandwich Formula]
[Final Sandwich]

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Underrated Chocolate Cake

My brother recently left on a trip to find some wild cougar that has been reported lately to be hanging around forest preserves. I was pretty excited, so I used this as an excuse to get baking as a celebration and have myself an Eatrian Odyssey. I found a bag of premade cake mix inside a box on a shelf, but when I looked at the instructions, I just wasn’t satisfied. I just had to shape it to my personal taste, so I took out the eggs and vegetable oel. Peanut butter is really great, and I really don’t like chocolate chips, so I tossed in a bunch of those. Also, I added some water, since it doesn’t work without that. You have to be an experienced chef to know these subtle factors that influence the cake. I mixed it up with a fork, and it already was looking good enough for me to eat at this point, but I decided to stick it in the microwave oven just for the heck of it. I set it to two minutes, and took it out when I felt it was right. It turned out great. I am a huge fan of things that taste good. Although I am proud of myself for this, I feel that I want to experiment and further alter the recipe next time and truly make it my own.

Tip: If possible, use Chicago tap water for zebra mussel taste.

to taste – chocolate cake mix
to taste – water
to taste – peanut butter chips

[Finished Product]

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Tactical Piquenick

I have a Pulli that has “Starved Rock” written across the front. You know, people always have things written on their clothes. I think it’s kind of stupid for the most part. I also have a Pulli with my birthday on it. I mean, that’s kind of neat. So, it could be neat, too, reader. But, my idea was: instead of reading what it does now, my Pulli should read on the front “Starved Ra”.

I was outside in a field during in a wonderful day. Everything was beautiful and perfect for the picnic I had planned. Tables were set up in table organization. Everything was relatively very passive. I set some snacks on the tables, but at this point I think the snack situation wasn’t so great; just some chips with nutella dip. By examining some of the food too much, I offended some of my guests already present: Charleston, Curator of Thunder; Bruno Cecilson, Bro; and Chompowitz, Invorstigator. Hearing the bus arrive with more of my picnic guests, I headed over to greet them.

~“Now, I can explain. I have somewhat of a notable background in food things, and I can tell you about how it works. The most important tip for a new food-person is not to overcrowd the pan. I can’t stress that enough. I mean, it’s important. The other tip is to have some secret ingredients that you can rely on.”
“You still haven’t given us an explanation, you know.”
“Yeeaaah... I need to head back to the washroom now.”~

The ecstatic guests got off the bus and were new to the picnic. They greeted me with hugs and excited remarks, because I’m cool like that, and brought some stuff; the stuff they brought was supposed to be gifts and food for the picnic I guess (one gift I thought was especially nice was an aloe vera (I think this one’s going to get out of hand pretty soon though (I’ve had experiences (it kept growing (these things grow way too fast, jeez (in retrospect, maybe I left it alone and stopped paying attention to it for too long at a time (I’m not good with keeping track of time))) way too much!) with aloe vera before))), but I had other plans. Due to a deal I had sealed earlier in the day with Thunder Curator Charleston, it began raining. This rain was really intense. It’s the kind of rain that makes you think “I really want to go inside. I know I don’t need to, but I’d really like to, and so I’m going to act on these thoughts.”. I planned this picnic to be next to a church, so I herded everyone inside. Once there, I turned to the group and spoke, “Oh, look everyone. Some sort of religious ceremony is taking place. Let’s participate in it. It’ll be fun. Who knows what’ll happen? Maybe we’ll all bond with each other, maybe we’ll start believing what the rest of these religioners are believing, maybe we’ll just have a grand time!” I don’t know what went wrong, but I tried to get them to all participate and before I knew it, I couldn’t find any of my picnickers. It’s like they all disappeared.