Saturday, August 30, 2008

Internote News

Updates to Zeefer Madness may be occurring a bit less often for a while now, as I am working with the Doctor on writing my book. I will let you all know when it is ready and finished for its print run of one copy total, which will be delivered to me.

The book will be full of content you already know and love in addition to behind the scenes footage, making of, glossary of terms, chronological timeline of events, author's commentary, and exclusive new scenes not available elsewhere. Come with uncle and read all proper! You are invited!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Toasted Rye

Rye bread is one of my favorite breads. One thing about it bothers me though: some people like to shove these caraway seeds into it. They taste terrible and I don't have the time to adjust my tastes to them, or to form any childhood memories of liking caraway seeds. So because of this, when I had a slice of carawayed rye, I needed a good way to increase the amount of flavor molecules present. After a quick toasting operation was complete, I quickly placed a few slices of unsalted butter on top then after it was melted, proceeded to sprinkle a coating of granulated sugar over it. Feel free to do this to other kinds of bread, it will make them more bearable in case you don't have any rye on hand.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

Exciting New Automatic-Get-Internote System

Animals frequently drink water; they can't seem to get enough of this stuff. Various exotic locations for drinking which the animals have made use of include the bathtub, the sink, and lately, the water fountain. Watch as Animal deftly applies water-drinking procedure to the liquid:


I personally find it interesting that Salt Water Tabbies are so interested in drinking from a freshwater source. Future observation is needed though before any conclusions can be drawn.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pizza Judgment of Article of Strong Faith

The TV suddenly started blaring upon going to commercials causing me to automatically reach for the volume button on the remote. I wished the space guy was on TV, he's a lot more fun. I would have felt bad about having the TV on and just leaving it on mute, and I didn't want quite the amount of light in the room that a lamp provides. I thought back to when I had my book light that would attach to the cover of a book and light the pages. I knew the battery for it was sitting in the closet outside my room, but I couldn't find the light itself in my memory. So naturally I preheated the oven and threw in a frozen sausage and pepperoni pizza with additional black olives and feta cheese sprinkled on top.


It turned out great. The only real way to cut a pizza is to use a wicked pair of bone cleaving shears. If you're not doing it this way, you're not cutting the pizza correctly.

[Cutting Pizza Pie]

I ate a slice and left the rest sitting there all night for random other people that might wander by, because I'm an incredibly considerate individual. I would love to run into cold pizza if I were to suddenly wake up in the middle of the night.

[Remaining Pie]

Saturday, August 09, 2008


Let me tell you things you already know about visual and aural spacial issues.

As of late, it became normal for my father to be off on frequent business trips. As a natural reaction, I would often find myself in the basement with party decorations everywhere, a noisemaker in my hand silent, the tape recorder running on the cushion next to me, and a movie on the television screen. My gaze went past the screen, failing to absorb the simulacra of train murderers acting with religious overtones. Additional details left uncaptured included ninja practicing their swordwork in such a manner where the tip of the blade does not change position. I blinked a few times and refocused, seeing this time two kinds of trains, the first passing over the second. I identified one as a passenger and the other as a mail delivery train. The interesting feature I noted about the passenger train is that there is room on the bottom where a person can hang on to, riding externally, which is not the case at all for the mail train. Seeing the murderers aboard the train once again, my eyes widen as I realize they are after my father.

~The island was really a desert, but there were still people running around, a helicopter landing, and a huge building in the center of it all – one of those where it looks like internally it’s made up of cave openings arranged in a quadrant layout, and the elevator only reaches the ground level. This was of course a huge problem for me since I was headed up to the third floor. As I ran I could feel something pulling on my ear, as if it was the only force driving me up the stairwell. I entered the classroom and put my dessert on the table near the window where it would wait until snacktime halfway through, then took a seat in the rear of the room. This was the part where normal desk formation no longer applied, and chairs were just lined up at tables pushed against the wall. Children started to flood in and I was a bit nervous about one of them looking for a seat and not being able to find one, but I ignored the problem, and I can only imagine it went away. An instructional video started playing and I began to doze off.~

The train derailed, causing me to spring up from the couch and run outside, where I saw huge pieces of burned metal from the train and various mail scattered about. I gathered up as many packages as I could and opened them up. Highlights included three tall glasses with ice cream sundaes and blue cheese cream dip. I took these and began arranging them as if they were the main attraction of another party – it was really all I knew how to do at the time. The police arrived and I began showing them around and explained my plan of repackaging all the food and mailing it to sad people who aren’t getting their food. They seemed uninterested and the two of them headed into my bathroom where they locked the door. I worried that they suspected I was the train murderer because of how the train landed in my backyard, and I had already stashed a ton of food boxes in my bathroom.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Hero Sandwich

I like eating sandwiches, so when I had one from Hero's Submarine Sandwich Shop, I was understandably excited. The thing that separates these heroes from others is that they have bread and meat, and then some other stuff like onions and junk. It's one of those places where you buy a sandwich and go immediately to an extended metal windowsill that is supposed to function as a table with no chairs or stools, then unwrap your sandwich and eat it while reflecting on your favorite sports team or the hand drawn city map of questionable accuracy hanging on the wall. More often though, you'll just want to take your food and head out, then sit on the grassy field across the street. You'll then think about why you didn't want to buy a soda or a bag of Vitner's as you watch your friend complain about too much ice in the drink, which you completely agree about, reader. After discussing band music during the meal (I'd give it about twenty minutes (ten per each half (I'm assuming you ordered one whole) of the sandwich)), you may wonder about the party store in the distance, but then realize you've had enough silly business for today and head off for the liquor store.

[Hero Sandwich]

Saturday, August 02, 2008

The Silly Business

Today I was feeling a little emotionally depressed, but when I saw all the emails from you guys, I felt a lot better! Also, I went shopping today - I absolutely need to have Moo-fuel; no other drink will cut it for me when eating foods.

The Bro, Brah, and Bru Business is somewhat famous around the Fjord for their activities. Since I just received my chef jacket, I took up their offer they made of me. I could not turn down a deal that included free belts. I began working on doing cooking demonstrations shows, and during that, some other people that I had gotten used to seeing suddenly disappeared and I never saw them again, but I guess that’s just the way things are. I’m fine with people suddenly deciding to never let anyone see them ever again. I’m not some kind of jerk that will start trying to snoop into their lives. Things started looking up for me though when I was offered to go on a trip to the beach! So exciting!

~ The beach was pretty great. I headed out at night since that’s when anything cool that might happen will definitely happen. There was none of that icky green plant goo growing on the water and no pieces of shells or weird objects that might be crap on the sand, so it was okay to just walk along without paying attention. Well, except for this nice soufflé I found just sitting on the ground. I was absolutely sure no one was around, so I totally ate the soufflé. I would say that that was the highlight of the vacation.~

I got back to Bro, Brah, and Bru, I sensed something was amiss. Bru approached me. “We know you have secret plans, but you may want to reconsider after seeing this picture of legally inappropriate behaviour.” He then presented a secret hand drawn picture of me eating the soufflé while on vacation, all done in oil pastels! I was shocked! These things seriously baffle me, I can’t figure out how they work. Within the same box, some of them are like working with chalk, and others are so smudgy they pretty much melt right onto the paper. “So don’t even think about telling Chompowitz about our shady dealings, it will cause you a lot of emotional conflict!” Luckily, I snorkeled away to Soufflé Islet and now everything is fine.