Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Sardines with BONES

I had a good experience with those sardines in tomato sauce I ate before. I think some of it might have had to do with how it was King Oscar brand and that just seems real classy to me. So I got sardines again, but these ones are big and in soybean oil instead of tomato sauce.

I first thought something was wrong when I opened it up and it smelled awful. I didn't realize there were tons of bones in it until I started eating a bit and had a bunch of little crunchy things in my mouth. They're like tiny little rib bones all over the place and I was eating them.

Here's what was going through my head while I ate it:

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to eat those sardines. Ugh, this is so disgusting. It smells so bad. They're huge disgusting pieces of sardines. It makes me want to vomit, looking at it with the smell too. I go. ... That was rough. I shuddered when I was eating it. Okay, time for a second bite. Maybe I liked them more last time because they were in tomato sauce - this time it's soybean oil. I don't know.. I don't know if I can do it - finish the can. ... ughhhhh, spine bones! It looks like a bunch of dead rotting fish. mannn.. ughh.. no, I can do it. I don't give up on food. ... mann, freaking bones. I hate bones in fish - they're small and everywhere sometimes. When you eat chicken, you know where the bones are gonna be and it's cool. Also you don't run into spine bones. I swear, I'm supposed to be looking at food, but all I'm seeing is the cover of Doom II Master Levels. ... man, ughh. little crunchy things I'm chewing on. ... man, freaking bones! I feel like I've been through this scenario before. And it's like, why the hell is this part all purple/dark red colored? Am I supposed to eat that?? I don't even know what to do. Man, these spines. And all those tiny little ribs. Okay, so I've eaten like two thirds of it so far. I can do it. ... man, okay. ... I ate all the meat. I did it. I'm not feeling so good. I need to rest or something."

There's a million little bones in this and they break off the spine so easily that it's impossible to remove them all. And after I was done, it looked like some kind of boneyard. It was disgusting, and I rate this food item zero of two.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Peanut Butter Sauce Pasta

I just got like three jars of peanut butter, so I'm all excited to eat a lot of peanut butter. I looked up online some recipe for a peanut butter sauce to use on pasta, but I didn't remember exactly what all the instructions were for it while I was in the kitchen. It probably doesn't matter because I wasn't about to start measuring things anyway.

Okay, so first, I cooked some pasta. It's wheels. I kept some of the boiling water in a glass cup so I could use it for my sauce.

Then for the sauce, I dumped in a bunch of chunky peanut butter because I thought it would be neat to have a bunch of little peanut pieces in the end. Then I poured in about the same amount of hot water as there was peanut butter. I was going to use some half and half next, but mine was chunky and smelled like old yogurt, so that's no good. Instead I used a glob of bacon grease from when I ate a ton of bacon. I remembered it said something about soy sauce and garlic cloves, so I poured in a bit of a pack of soy sauce and then some garlic herb powder I had. And also cock sauce.

So the sauce recipe is like this:
- chunky peanut butter
- hot water from the pasta
- bacon grease
- soy sauce
- garlic herb powder
- cock sauce

There are no amounts or measurements! You're supposed to eyeball it and taste it a ton as you do it!

I rate it two of two because I love peanut butter and I'm proud of myself for this after my last pasta disaster.