Book in Print

I forgot to update when the book first arrived, but it is done and I have got my hands on a few first edition copies of it. These things are so rare that if you went into any bookstore and asked if it's in stock or could be ordered, they'd look at you as if you were a crazy person. Here is a photo of what the book looks like:

[Photograph of Fjordian Book]

As you can see, it's really a good book and it should be your personal guide on how to live your life.

The Zeefer Madness Book

The Zeefer Madness Book is now complete! This exciting revisioning of the popular ZeeferMadness internote contains the exciting conclusion to the Souffle Fjord story, two never-before-seen lost entries of food stories, new animal time internotes, along with a professional commentary by the Doctor! I would like to thank all my loyal readers for making this possible. Without you, none of this would be. Pick up you very own copy at bookstores near you!* The internote may/may not be resuming it's regular schedule.




*The ZeeferMadness book is not currently available for public purchase.

Canada Snacks Tasting

I recently got my hands on some snacks that are from Canada. I've never seen these before in my life until now, and I'd like to share my thoughts.

[Photo of Foods]

Passion Flakie - On the lower right section of the photo. They have a pastry like outside that's flaky. The inside was white cream and fruit stuff, which tasted really similar to Little Debbie's Strawberry Shortcake Rolls. I had a conversation with an associate about them:

"It looks like something you would put in the toaster."
"You don't need to toast it."
"But it looks like something you would toast."
"No."
"It looks like something you would toast."
"No."
"It looks like something you would toast."
"No."

They taste pretty good and it's fun to eat the top off of it then be able to go at the middle part by itself.

Crispy Crunch - This candy bar was a deceiver because the paper tray thing the candy bar sits on is dark colored like chocolate, so when I opened up the packaging from the back side first, I was mildly shocked. What kind of candy has a tray thing that isn't white colored? Probably there is one that I just can't think of at the moment, but it still was scocking and I dropped the candy due to my being momentarily flustered. The candy bar itself tastes like a butterfinger, but more peanuty, and it is really good at getting stuck on my teeth!

Mr. Big - Mr. Big is crazy huge. After I carefully opened it to keep the packaging intact, I saw that part of it had caramel that had leaked out of it. It looked really intimidating, but once I bit into it, I saw that most of it was wafer, so it's not a heavy candy bar. This is definitely my favorite of all five foods here, and I think it has the best name too.

Ketchup Chips - I've never eaten chips that were ketchup flavored, so this was a surprise. They actually tasted ketchup flavored! Crazy.

All Dressed Chips - I thought ketchup was pushing it, but these are ridiculous. I don't even know what they're supposed to taste like. The bag has a picture of a red pepper, a salt shaker, and an onion, so they probably have those flavors in it, maybe with things like onion, garlic, sour cream, vinegar, bbq, ranch and bacon too. I really don't know. They're orange in color and really intense. I couldn't handle more than one at a time at first. I don't quite know what to make of it, but if I saw it I would consider getting it again.

Birthday Pancakes

My [Birthday Pancakes] melted the wax of the candle resting inside them.




Also, notice how the fork has four prongs. Not three, but four. Four prongs.

I Understand and I Wish to Continue

Usually I'm good at eating the foods I make and not getting sick. This was not the case last week when I decided to use a can of spam I bought (it was an accident, I swear). I started off with sourdough bread, cut it in half, and hallowed it out a bit. After pouring extra virgin olive oil on one side, I put some sort of cheese I totally don't remember the name of on it, and then pieces of spam I carved out of the block from the can. On the other side, I poured on some mushroom tomato sauce. I microwaved the whole thing for maybe half a minute, then put butter pickle slices in too. It seemed like it was going well at the time...

[a bad sandwich]

I made another sandwich a few days later. It was a meatball sub, but I didn't care for the bread. And also I was still not feeling so well from the first sandwich. Some things happened, so I didn't take a picture.

Small Big-Sandwich Internote

After eating all those sandwiches last time, I was excited to eat some more sandwiches at a different place and internote again. This time, the sandwiches are from Silver Mine Subs. I used to pass by the place all the time without really realizing it is a sandwich shop, but this time things are different.
(note: I ate the large size of all of these sandwiches)

Steam Engine - This was the first sandwich I got. Unlike the last place, they sell warm sandwiches in addition to ones with only cold meats. The Steam Engine is a meatball sub. There was some other stuff on it too, like maybe peppers or onions or whatever, but the main thing here is the meatballs. I thought it was a good sandwich, although I messed up and dropped half of mine on the floor and it got a bit messy, but I ate it just the same.

Lawless Leadville - A turkey and ham sandwich. It's good that there was both turkey and ham, because I think it there was only one, especially if it was just the turkey, it would have been really lame.

Dodge City - It's a tasty pepperoni and salami sandwich. The vinegar makes the lettuce taste especially vinegary if the pepperoni and salami wasn't enough for you.

Tombstone - The Tombstone is kind of a plain boring turkey sandwich. I thought it needed some bbq or cock sauce when I was eating it. It's like the leadville, but they took out the ham and added in sprouts, which is stupid, even if the sprouts don't get in the way like that other beach-themed sandwich. If you need to eat something because you're hungry, and not because you want to taste some flavor molecules something, this will do it.

Georgetown - I don't remember anything about this one. I see a piece of bacon in my picture though, so maybe this was a turkey bacon sandwich, in which case I can already say it's way better than the Tombstone. There might be a better bacon sandwich available, but this is the only one I've had so far from this place.

I actually ate these sandwiches probably over 2 weeks ago and haven't been there since. I probably won't be going back there either so I decided just to make the internote now with what I currently had to work with.

Big Big-Sandwich Internote

I once made an internote about a sandwich I ate at this sandwich shop, and now I've finally finished what I started. I ate every interesting thing on the menu, which means everything but the vegetarian sandwich and the smaller versions of the big sandwiches, and now I'm ready to write my thoughts on it. Oh, by the way, it's a sandwich shop called Jimmy Johns which probably doesn't exist where you are.
(note: some of the pictures may/may not match up with what the actual sandwich is, because I'm not a very good sandwich archivist)
(also note: I ate all these on the normal sub sandwich bread, not that weird 7 grain stuff)

J.J.B.L.T.® - This is the sandwich with just bacon on it. It's one of the smaller ones. It's good though, I liked it, but I might consider having it as an addition to another sandwich in the future instead of by itself.

#7 GOURMET SMOKED HAM CLUB - This is basically a bunch of ham with some cheese and other sandwich things. So it's a ham sandwich and I like that. Nothing wrong here.

#8 BILLY CLUB® - This one was roast beef with ham. It's supposed to have mustard on it too, I don't remember that. I really didn't like it though; something was wrong. I would not get this one again. Also, I think the name is stupid.

#9 ITALIAN NIGHT CLUB® - This is an interesting one because it has ham, capicola, and salami. Those are some good sandwich meats and they make a great sandwich. This is one of the best sandwiches here.

#10 HUNTER'S CLUB® - I think this is the first sandwich I ever ate at this place. It has a bunch of roast beef, so if you're in the mood for chomping through only a bunch of roast beef, this is it. Oh, also, I like cold-sandwich roast beef sandwiches a lot better than those ones where the roast beef is hot and you need to ladle it into the bread right there on the spot. Sometimes it has peppers in the beef too with those ones. Don't know how I feel about that.

#11 COUNTRY CLUB® - This one is a turkey and ham sandwich. I don't know, I guess it was a good sandwich. I really don't remember.

#12 BEACH CLUB® - I hated this sandwich so much! When I got it, I was expecting fun and good times for the whole family, but it really was a pain to eat. It's a turkey sandwich, but the interesting part is that there's cucumber, avocado spread, and sprouts on top. I actually like cucumbers, so I'm fine with that. Avocado is sort of weird. I don't particularly like it, but I don't hate it either. I mean, I wouldn't ever go out of my way to eat some avocado, but if I see it there, I'll eat it and enjoy it. The sprouts are what made this a bad sandwich. They're all just resting on top there, and every time I try to take a bite, they get all up in my face. It was pretty annoying.

#14 BOOTLEGGER CLUB® - A roast beef and turkey sandwich. Nothing weird here. (now that I finished seeing what pictures I have for which sandwiches, and looking at how much I had to say about this one, I feel that I have to question whether I actually ate this one too)

#15 CLUB TUNA® - Now, I like tuna sandwiches, I've made them before for myself, but something was wrong here with the tuna in a sub. I really didn't like the mushiness of the tuna in my sandwich, and I also didn't really care for the consistency of their tuna mix either. Also, although I ate this one right away when I got it, I question its ability to hold up over time if I were to toss it in the fridge for a few hours or overnight before eating it.

#16 CLUB LULU® - This is one of the bacon sandwiches. It also has turkey in it. But what's important is the bacon. Actually, now, looking back, I don't remember if I ate this one or not... I'd probably like it though.

#17 ULTIMATE PORKER™ - This is the other bacon sandwich. This time, it's bacon and ham, which I think go well together. Other than that, it's just a good sandwich, and probably one of the best ones out of the sandwich choices it's listed with.

THE J.J. GARGANTUAN® - Basically, it's all the other sandwiches combined, except for the tuna (which is good), the weird beach club sillybusiness (also good), and the bacon (bad). So that's why I was sure to tell them to add bacon to it when I ordered it. In all, there was salami, ham, capicola, roast beef, turkey, and bacon, along with the other sandwich basics. This sandwich pretty much makes all the others obsolete, although if you get it, make sure you're ready for a bit of a commitment as it could take a few hours to work through if you can't maintain a state of being really hungry throughout the entire eating process.

Lastly, I ate one of the cookies there and a bag of chips. The chips were BBQ flavor, and rather unremarkable. They had the store logo on them, which was nice, and it is important for sandwich shops to offer chips. The cookie was actually pretty good. Large cookies work a lot better when they're chewy. Also, I prefer chewy cookies.

Cobbler

I can eat through a huge cobbler like [this] in one sitting. Or maybe a few sittings. But I would eat through the whole thing. The inside is a bunch of lovely berries and pears, which are soo much better than apples. Apples are the worst. They're so grainy. Even the ones that aren't grainy. Anyway, on top is a bunch of Streusel. Usually putting oats in things is a bad idea, but I think it works out great here. I was going to write "fine" there because that's more like how I actually feel, but I deleted it and wrote "great" to better show the difference in how oats are in different food items.

Closed Tuna Melt

Tuna melts are good, but sometimes, I'm too lazy to make them correctly. This is the result:

[Sandwich]

- hwhite bread slices
- sandwich pickle slices
- cold tuna (not for cats)
- mayonnaise
- maybe some pepper
- provolone cheese
- toasting element
- general heating element

First, open the tuna, drain out the liquid and replace it with mayonnaise by mixing. Then either cool it or hope that it was already cold so you don't have to wait. Apply toasting to the bread, and it will become two toast pieces. I don't like trouble, so I put the cheese on the bread right now and apply some heat to get it melty. Finally, slop on the tuna mix and lay the pickle slices on top then cover with the other toast piece. This sandwich is pretty good, I ate like, 3 or 4 of them.

Delicious Baconated Sandwich

I needed an intro to a food article, so I decided to list the ingredients instead of starting off a story about how I saw some impressive bacon food item or was hungry and invented a sandwich:

- 2 toasted white bread slices
- butter to cover one slice
- provolone cheese to cover the other
- glob of mayonnaise covering butter
- bacon bits dumped over cheese
- combine into one sandwich

[Baconated Sandwich]

The butter gives the sandwich the familiar taste of buttered bread, which makes me think, "I know this; it is familiar to me.", leading me on to feel safe about the forthcoming powerful taste of the provolone cheese. The more subdued buttered toast flavor has been lost around this point, which is good, because this allows the bread to not interfere with anything else but only act as the vessel for the insides. The bacon will now take effect. Since it is crumbly, it has intermingled with the mayonnaise a bit, giving it a somewhat creamy feel, but still bacony. The active flavors sort of alternate between cheese and bacon for the remainder of the sandwich. I'm not going to try to be cool and say it was disgusting eating this. It was delicious. I hope to eat more baconated food items in the future.